achildofthefandoms

southpauz:

True story.

When I was in 7th Grade, I almost set an Elementary School on fire while trying to microwave a cookie.

I was working at the concessions stand during a basketball tournament (my team was required to work because the tournament was being hosted in my School district), and, because I was hungry, I decided to use the microwave to heat up my cookie. My teeth were very sore due to me getting dental braces that week, so I decided to microwave it for a minute so it could be really soft.

It set on fire. 

The smoke alarm went off throughout the school.

The sprinkler system went off.

Basketball games that were going on at the time were cancelled.

Everyone had to evacuate the school and wait for the Police and Fire Department to show up. 

I JUST WANTED A COOKIE.

i-want-your-cumberbuns

stunt-muppet:

theolduvaigorge:

the-fisher-queen:

emir-dynamite:

rabadons-deathcap:

lymphonodge:

bearpigman:

sushiandpie:

if youre down or sad tonight, watch this seal complain about going into the water and in general be a big baby

I legit don’t think I’ve laughed out loud in over a week, and now I can’t stop

"BLEBS BLEBS BLEBS PTPPTTT AAAAA"

literally me going to work

When my mother started doing physical therapy after her operation (several months ago) I sent her this video.  Her exercises usually make her cry, so I sit in the room and make the reluctant Weddell seal noises for her.  She says this helps.

This is literally me, as I procrastinate writing this damn memo.

Me getting out of bed in the morning. Bleeeeeerch…meehbleerp blerp.

if i ever fail to reblog this it’s because i’m dead